Saturday, March 30, 2013
I am a man without a country.
I watch as my relatives(I call them relatives because I damn sure can't call them family) talk with one another over social media. I watch as they give each other emotional support when necessary. I watch as they share jokes and stories both new and old. I watch, from a distance.
I don't have to wonder why things are the way they are. I understand that this is the price I have to pay for not staying silent. For daring to question something they were too scared or complacent to question. How dare I think for myself? It's amazing to see someone get mad at you because you asked a question they can't answer, or won't answer because they know the answer will force them to see something logically when they want the comfort that often comes with willful ignorance.
From my grandmother(who up until she found out I was an atheist was the sweetest woman in the world) who called me stupid and said I was doing a bad job raising my kids to my many cousins and aunts and uncles who questioned my parenting, morals, and sanity because I don't believe in something they can't prove to be true, I feel like I've been pushed out.
Sure, it hurts to be shunned for something you can't control, but what can be done about it? Contrary to popular belief, I'm not behaving like a petulant child, arms crossed, saying to god "Fine, you want to act like that? Well I don't believe you exist!"
I could probably go on for a few more pages, but I'll leave it at this: I've endured a lot of emotional trauma because some people value comfort over reality, and that's just sad.